Spirit of cold

Winter still holds his grip on the country. He brought big monsters to make it easier for man to cope with nature. Driving behind the monster feels like being part of "Lord of the rings" ;-)
The big cold - minus 20 degree - is gone for now.
The december cold - a cold beyond physically measurable temperature - is still there.






10 days to go for chrismas.
People try to make me believe that it doesn't matter.
It does matter.

Chrismas starts much earlier than 24th of december (on which I never have been alone, thank God!) - and this is the reason for chrismas-blues in most people suffering from it.
Everyone seems to be extremely busy with cleaning, shopping, cooking, invitations. Jólahladbord must be a great food-experience, but like for Thorrablót in january you need to be part of a group or a family. In Iceland chrismas is "one big dinnerparty", as an art exhibition in Reykjavík, called White Chrismas, explains.
And like a dinnerparty it is closed for strangers.
The spirit of chrismas is only for families. If you don't have a family, find yourself an animal to spend the coldest time of the year time with.
It appears that not much has changed in the last 2000 years. Despite of the churches efforts. *g*


I do have an animal to spend chrismas time with - unfortunately Páll is extremely busy, too, with finding food outside in the snow and not willing to follow me to my home and share chrismas cake with me. Hm ... probably the doors in the neighbourhood would be wide open in less than a second if I tried to convince him.
I actually like that idea very much :-)
For sure it would bring forward my reputation as a weird, mentally sick foreign artist. ;-)

Listening to the Sound of silence.

I do not miss much of Germany, and I am never homesick.

But in these december days I miss the german spirit of open houses in chrismas time, the taste of spicy cake and hot chocolate, of laughing and doing nonsense in good company, of sweet Dresdner Stollen and Bratapfel and of singing to a guitar, I miss Adventskalender, miss baking xmas-cookies with folks. I miss sharing icelandic candles with the someone my heart silently belongs to, whatever may happen.

Most of the missings will soon pass (10 days left) and you will find yourself pretty ridiculous in your childish lament. Of course.
But after the last ginger cookies have been eaten, the grey shadow of loneliness still shares my table, wipes away any idea of food, as 'Dinner for one' is nothing but a sour joke and cooking remains kind of a tasteless enterprise to fill your stomach from time to time.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b1v4BYV-YvA

Real taste can only be found on a table with more than one fork in use. :-)

"Why don't you go home" say people here in Iceland, and they don't understand, that the spirit of chrismas is not about sending strangers away.

There is no time in the year that a single without family feels more left-over than in the december weeks of Advent. Maybe a sentimental rest of our childhood that creates this silly weakness in us. Maybe the fear of facing the big changes the new year will start with.
For sure the feeling of being homeless, that to a certain extent everyone of us is hiding in his soul. You can cover it with food, with work or with alcohol. None of these drugs will help as they lack the warmth of human company. In other words - you can face anything with someone by your side.
In the meantime I try to get high on the second drug and spend my days with working, from 7 in the morning till late night, writing on deadline, translating and going into daily job, without ever getting tired enough to find good sleep.

Pretending it doesn't matter.

It does.

No matter how dark your road may be

no matter how little hope you see.

Horizon shows the light

of Someone who's your Guide.